Book 1, Chapter 2 - " Who is to Blame? "
"I know these winding roads
Will lead me home, to you I'll go
I know these stepping stones
I've walked alone, to you - my home"
.
Side by Side, LAYUPS

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“Now, let’s talk about you. Is that ok?”, the Messenger asked.

I nodded my head in agreement.

“OK, some of the information I received for you were from three different individuals…”

This time Christine jumped in.
“Who are these individuals?”

Pointing at me she kept going.
“Your grandfather, your sister and another person; can’t tell who the third person is.

The biggest question that you have been wrestling with is your identity, your being … your lineage, family tree and experiencing the breakdown of what you thought was true and absolute.

Soon you would discover that may not be the case. That nothing is absolute and every idea, belief and principal is there to be questioned and doubted. You need to open yourself and your heart for such experience, such journey, such freedom from the cages we build over time to imprison our opener spirit within us.”

“One of the three that I mentioned who is here is your grandfather. He is very good looking and very young. In his 30’s” she said.

Did she really say that? I thought to myself.
And she was right. My paternal grandfather had died 80 years ago at the age of 32.

“Your little sister is also here, she is so beautiful, so innocent,” then she turned to me and simply said:

“You last saw her as a kid… really a young child…but she wasn’t just a kid when she died. “

I last saw my sister when she was eight years old. She died at the age of twenty.

I felt drops of sweat on my forehead. How could she know?

“Your sister wants to talk about today and all days that are all good days…. She wants to talk about how her days are spent on the other side; she is not dead but not alive in this realm…

There are two types of living, one on this side, and one on the other after life.”

Christine was silent.
I was more confused than angry. I interrupted. “I am trying to understand… to give a chance to be convinced…. Can you provide me a sign?”

She continued: “Your sister said that you were extremely strained from her, when you were in college far away. You were just not there with her… when she needed a big brother…a role model, when she needed you.”

I came to the U.S. at the age of sixteen when my sister was eight.

Then she paused for over thirty seconds as if she was waiting for me to speak.. to reflect… to react.

I began to speak: “You know, we talked to each other over the phone at least twice a month”, as if to defend my absence from my sister’s life.

“She looked up to you with adulation in a way a little sister looks at her older brother” said the Dark Lady.

“She adored you despite the distance as you were her source of strength. You are asking for a sign, an evidence to prove something to you but I don’t have a specific thing to tell you.”

Now the Messenger sounded exhausted with me and almost shouting:
“Do you understand?... It is hard when you don’t believe me as I can’t get good signals. We need to have trust with one another. That is how I work.”

“I am trying to I really am but trust is not formed out of a fifteen minute conversation. It is a big leap for me to trust you when I still try to get to know the subject we are uncovering,” I pleaded.

Another pause…

“Did you play Chess with her?”
“I… I did. I was a chess champion at the young age and taught her how to play and while back home played with her regularly.” I quietly said.

“I think her … her … you do carry quite a bit of guilt the way… rather how she died… what happened to your sister, that you couldn’t change the circumstance….that you couldn’t take her with you.. to bring her to the U.S.”

With every quote, every sentence, the Messenger ripped my belief system and forced me to pay more attention.

https://www.myfreshperspectives.com/posts/the-three-kings-book-1-chapter-3-a-jolly-good-fellow